"All children are artists, and it is an indictment of our culture that so many of them lose their creativity, their unfettered imaginations, as they grow older... They don't worry that they may not be as good as Di Chico or Bracque; they know intuitively that it is folly to make comparisons, and they go ahead and say what they want to say." (1)
They say that comparison is the thief of joy, and whoever “they” are, I agree with them.
If we are always measuring ourselves against our neighbors, who are broadcasting their latest and greatest on Instagram or Facebook, how are we to be content with our own lives?
Everyone struggles with comparison, but I believe that perhaps the struggle is exacerbated for women.
We, as women, are inclined to be more emotional by nature, and it’s easy to let comparisons—however slight they may seem—turn into shame. And friends, just like comparison robs us of our joy, shame is the cell that locks it away.
Comparison is an incredibly damaging thing. I have seen It lead to self-depreciation, self-rejection and depression.
Shame steps into the door opened by the deceptiveness of comparison —the fear of being unworthy.
Shame makes us feel small, unwanted and unloved. And together, this dynamically deadly duo will keep us from living the full, happy lives we’re destined to live.
I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life full, and overflowing, with joy. A life free of comparison and shame. But in order to live that life, I have to consciously fight back against the comparison trap each and every day.
The way I begin my day typically sets the tone for how I operate the rest of the day. Am I frazzled and stressed? Or am I grounded and at peace? For me it looks like taking the first minutes in the morning, before the sun has woken the birds, to spend time reading my Bible -- not work email or skimming social media -- and in prayer. This prepares my mind and my heart to combat comparison.
Throughout the day, it is a constant battle against the swarming thoughts of, 'I wish I was more..." or "If only I could....", and instead remind myself of what makes me, me. What is unique about Mikayla Rose, and why am I unique? When you catch yourself in the comparison trap, remind yourself of your strengths, talents, gifts, and abilities; focus on the purpose that God has to use your strengths and weaknesses for his glory! Live in the confidence that you have been created by the Creator of all, "for we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (2).
The truth is, this is your one and only life and you should never squander it in the world of comparison. Every breath that you take has been given to you, not someone else! It is great to be stirred and inspired by one another, but let's not get caught up in competing and comparing with each other.
Let’s spur each other on to live our best lives, valuing our uniqueness and differences.
1. L'Engle, Madeleine. 1998. Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art. Colorado Springs, CO:Waterbrook Press, 57.
2. Barker, Kenneth L., and Donald W. Burdick. Zondervan NIV Study Bible: New International Version. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002, Ephesians 2:10.
